I Love Summer (Kind of)

Summertime in Oklahoma is insane. It gets SO hot. And because of the humidity, it's so hard to breathe! We have spurts of no rain and the grass turns yellow; the wind seems to die down on those particularly hot days to where you feel like your skin is melting right off your bones. However, as many complaints as I have about how stinking hot it gets here, there is one perk: We get Ali for SIX weeks! It's awesome. During the rest of the year, it seems like we barely get to see her. I may get to pick her up from daycare a couple days a week, but she has to go back to her mother's that night anyway, so it isn't like we can make plans to do anything with her. My husband's work schedule is never the same; he may work three Saturdays, have one off, work twp, have three off... There are some weeks during the year that he only sees her on a Sunday. It kills him. But during the summer, it's so nice. He doesn't have to worry so much about his work schedule because he knows she'll be there every day when he gets home.

My favorite part about having her for so long is spending those lazy days together. We may go to the park, stay at home, watch TV, play in the back yard, or just sit on the front porch reading children's books. This year she started T-ball--hilarious! She used to cry when the coach made her play Catcher, so he finally quit putting her there. Most of the time, she doesn't want to play. An hour before her game, she'll say, "I wish my game was tomorrow. I just want to stay home today." While I understand completely how nice that would be, I have to explain to her what making a commitment means. She doesn't have to play next year if she doesn't want to, but as of this year, she made a commitment to her coach, her team, and to herself to play. She's five, so we'll see next year if she remembers any of that conversation!

Right now, we are at the end of our first three week summer visitation. She'll go stay with her mother for a while and then she'll come back. Sometimes I wish we didn't have to bother with splitting the six weeks up like that, but it's good for her. As sad as it seems, Ali isn't used to being in one place for very long. And she needs to spend time with her mother anyway. I wish she didn't have to go through the whole back-and-forth thing.

I think today we may go to the park. We told her she isn't allowed to play on her swing set in the back yard anymore because it's broken and looks a little bit dangerous. She's not happy about that! I love her so much. I hope someday she understands our relationship a little better. I hope someday I understand it a little better too! I want to be her mom, but she already has one, so I try to be kind of like an aunt. An aunt who loves her like a daughter. It's a very confusing relationship! Maybe someday she can just look at me like a best friend. A really old best friend!