18 Months Old

I can't believe that my little boy is 18 months old! It's funny how the fears you have as a mother evolve but they never go away. When he was just a few weeks old, I was afraid I would drop him. I was afraid of forgetting what he looked like and that I'd try to take the wrong baby home from daycare (I'm not even kidding). Now that he's no longer my little tiny baby I have much more selfish fears, like the fear of him preferring someone other than myself to rock him to sleep or kiss his boo boos!

I read this article today: Parenting Boys; What Boys Need from Moms. It lists 17 things every mom should do for their sons. Reading it made me feel like Jordan was 18 years old and about to graduate High School. What do you mean I have to learn to let go? Apparently he'll eventually not want mommy to hold and kiss him 24/7 (what!!??) and I'll have to be mom enough to let it happen.

What's ironic is that I've been looking forward to a little bit of separation for a long time now. I mean come on, he's been wanting me to hold him for 18 months straight and I have some pretty awesome biceps to prove it! But I can't imagine a day when he won't want to snuggle up to mommy, and it breaks my heart to think that it could actually happen sooner rather than later.

Ali will be 7 in September (for real!?) and she still loves to cuddle and snuggle me. But another point in the article I read said that you can't compare girls and boys in any way, shape, or form because they are so incredibly different.

I know men who never really stop being "mama's baby" and as adult I find it very irritating. I know that I'll have to let him go--and I want to because I know it needs to happen, but that doesn't make it any easier! I want him to be a good man, a good husband, and a good Christian. But if I shelter him and don't teach him to embrace his independence then I am only doing him a disservice.

So, when that day comes and he begins to mature and search for other sources of comfort instead of Mommy's arms, I won't cry. Okay, fine, I'll probably cry, but I'll be sure to do it in a bathroom.