All about Ears

***Keep in mind that during these events my husband has a fractured radius (forearm, dominant hand, of course) which happened on Sunday. He can't lift Jordan out of his crib, sleep with him, or basically do anything with or for him right now because all he has on his arm is a splint. So if you read this and think, "Why isn't Daddy doing anything to help!!??" that's why!!***
 
   We woke up at 6:00 AM on Tuesday, September 25th, and put on our comfy clothes. We didn't sleep any the night before; Jordan tossed and turned and cried and kicked and wanted a "dink"... but he couldn't have anything to eat or drink after midnight and he was MAD! I expected him to be a cranky boy when we got up but he was surprisingly giddy.

    We arrived at the hospital a little before our appointment time at 7:00 and checked in. They took us back and took his blood pressure, heart rate, the whole nine yards. He even had to wear a little tiny patient gown--he looked way cuter in his than anyone else I've ever seen, though! They even brought him these little special non-slip socks to wear! The nurses were so nice and reassuring. When it was time to take him back he was one mad little boy. It was hard for Mommy, too. I went back to the waiting room and looked at my watch every 5 minutes.

   After half an hour, the doctor came out and and told me that everything had gone smoothly. Jordan had an ear infection in his left ear when they went in but it didn't complicate things too badly. They said it took longer than usual because they had to drain both his ears and then put a little bigger sized tube in his left side because of the infection.

   They took me back to see him and warned me that he would be very fussy and would most likely be crying. They also said that he wouldn't let any of the nurses hold him without screaming except for the male nurse. When I walked in I understood why: the male nurse looked a lot like his daddy! As soon as he recognized me he came to me and gripped me so hard like he was afraid I would leave again. It broke my heart! We sat down and rocked and sang and he started to calm down.

   After changing his clothes and filling out some paper work we went back home and just chilled the rest of the day. After a nap he woke up much happier. He even got a surprise package from one of our favorite people in the whole world! He was so excited to see it, he jumped up and down and clapped his hands. The lady from the flower shop who dropped it off said, "Well that just made my whole day!"

   That night I half expected him to sleep better, but he didn't. It was just as exhausting as the night before. He was all over the place and even fell off our bed so we moved to the couch. The next morning his poor little cheek and lip were swollen on his right side. I assumed he'd hit it when he fell off the bed so I explained to the daycare what had happened. .

   I went to work. Exhausted. And then the daycare called after a few hours and said his swelling was getting worse and so it might be an allergic reaction to the tubes. NO!! Please no! So I called his doctor and he said that Jordan could be allergic to the codeine in the Tylenol I had been giving him. Ummm... what? I don't have Tylenol with codeine in it, just regular ole Children's Tylenol. "Hmmm," the doctor said, "Now that is strange isn't it? Well, you'll have to make a judgement call. If you think it's serious then take him to the ER." I called the daycare back and asked how he was feeling. They said he acted just fine and didn't seem to be bothered by it at all, so I made a judgement call and didn't take him to the ER. When I picked him up that afternoon he looked almost back to normal. Yay!

   We gave him some Benadryl just in case it was an allergic reaction and that made my little boy hilariously sleepy. I laid him down at 8:15 expecting a peaceful night of sleep for the first time in two weeks. To make the night even better I got to talk to Ali! She wanted to check on brother to make sure he was okay. Isn't she the sweetest? At around 10:00 I said a prayer for rest and fell to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

   At 10:30 my little rascal woke up crying. Oh please, no, not again! I thought. I seriously didn't think I could handle another sleepless night without having a meltdown. My poor husband... he tries to help but it's useless with that splint on his arm. So I got Jordan out of his crib, gave him a sippy cup of milk, sat down in the rocking chair, and sang to him. He drank all his milk and then laid his head on my shoulder. I don't know if it's just me or what, but I seriously get nervous when this happens. I think about laying him back down in his crib and wonder if he'll cry again. It absolutely tears at my core to think about it! Why is that!? So I always hesitate and just sit there rocking him back and forth weighing the possibilities. Finally I decided to lay him back down. I knew I couldn't go another night without sleep, I just couldn't. If he cried, he'd have to cry himself to sleep. It always breaks my heart to do that but sometimes it's the only way.

   He didn't cry. He didn't fuss at all. I went back to bed, my heart literally pounding at the mere thought of him waking up again. I kept expecting it to happen (as it usually does) but it didn't. I woke up this morning all on my own, without an alarm, and realized I overslept! My phone had died during the night and so my alarm didn't even go off. Coincidence? I think not! I didn't feel rushed though. I got up, put on some jeans and a t-shirt (which, luckily, my boss doesn't mind me wearing to work occasionally!!), got Jordan ready, and went to work, walking in only 5 minutes late!

   I don't know if tonight will go smoothly again or not. I pray that it does but I honestly believe with my whole heart that God will never ever give me more than I can handle. He knew last night I was at the breaking point. Today I'm well rested and if Jordan stays up all night tonight, I can handle it.

***Update***
Not even 5 minutes after I finished writing this Jordan's daycare called and said he was breaking out in hives. I took him to the doctor and they said he was having an allergic reaction to the anesthesia from when he had the tubes put in. So... now he's on steroids to help with that! He doesn't act like any of this bothers him one bit... I could hardly keep up with him at the hospital. He doesn't have time for this, he wants to play. 

Wait, She's How Old!?

My little girl is now seven years old. Where has the time gone? Has the story of how Ali came to be in my life ever been told?

How we met

The first time I ever really met Ali was way before I fell in love with her dad. I had seen her with Kris a couple of times but hadn't talked to her or anything. One day she came in to where her dad and I worked with her "Gmo." I tried talking to her and asked her questions like, "What's your name?" and "How old are you?" but she didn't say much; she was so shy! Then Gmo asked me if I had any kids of my own. I just laughed and said, "No way, not yet!" and then I remember looking at Ali and thinking about what it would be like if she were mine. 

A few months later I fell in love with Kris. Up until that point I hadn't been around Ali very much because we didn't want to make things complicated in case things didn't work out. I went to his house one day during my lunch break and there she was, little miss Ali, running around the house in nothing but her panties! She wanted me to play with her so we went in to her bedroom and made up some crazy card game where we flipped the cards over as fast as we could. We only played for maybe 30 minutes and that was the longest I had ever been around her.

Instant connection

Soon Kris asked me to meet his family. I was a nervous wreck. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm too young for him? We went to Santa Fe. I wore a black shirt that had white polka dots all over it. There were quite a few of us so we had to wait a little while before being seated, so we all sat there shelling peanuts and it was surprisingly not as awkward as you'd think! Ali had come with Sherry but as soon as we got there and sat down she walked over to me, climbed up in my lap, and asked me to help her with her peanuts. Everyone looked really shocked. It was unlike her to just gravitate and open up to someone like that, as Kris told me later. Ali spent the entire dinner sitting on my lap. After dinner Kris said, "I have never seen her do that before. She's usually so shy. She must really like you." Score!

She became very, very attached to me from that point on. Poor Kris... he had to take a back seat for a while. Everything was Dessstiny this and Dessstiny that (she always held the "s" on my name, it was so funny). Every single Sunday at church she sat on my lap the entire time. When we stood during the songs I held her. I remember sometimes wanting to put her down because my feet hurt so bad in my high heels, but I didn't want to ever let her go at the same time! So I'd stand there and hold her until we sat down again, every single time. Some people had no idea she wasn't really mine. They'd say, "Is this your daughter? She looks so much like you!" It was so funny. 

Becoming a "family"

Kris asked me to marry him in June 2009. We told Ali we were all getting married and would be a family soon. I asked her to be my flower girl and she was so excited! I had a hunch she would end up being too shy to walk down the aisle by herself but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine carrying her! It was the only way we could get her down the aisle without her crying, but it couldn't have been more perfect. That one little act represents us so well: She loves and trusts me completely and I would do absolutely anything for her.

Four years later here we are. Our relationship is beyond what I could have ever imagined. She feels so comfortable with me, still wants me to hold her, still wants me to play with her, and still loves me the same. I can't even imagine our relationship being any stronger. I used to struggle with her not being "mine" but I think it has actually made us better. She isn't just my stepdaughter, she's one of my best friends! Just the other day we were talking and I told her that I could talk about almost anything with her. She said, "What can't you talk to me about, Destiny?" I told her that there's some grown-up stuff I didn't talk to her about because she wouldn't understand it or it would be too boring to talk about, like money. She said, "Des, you can talk to me about money anytime you want. I may not get it, but I'll still listen." She melts my heart! When I think about how different my life would have been had I not met Kris... I can't even fathom it. Everything has worked out so perfect and I know and believe with all my heart that this was all God's doing. 

She's now seven. She's seven?? It's so hard to believe! We had her birthday party at Lazer Zone the weekend before her birthday and the kids had a blast! They each got like 20 tokens to use in the arcade, we had cookie cake, cupcakes, Dr Pepper, presents, and Ali and Kris played laser tag before we left. Talk about a successful birthday party! 

Now let's take a stroll down memory lane... pictures of Ali starting from the time I met her until now:

Tubes

Jordan has had ear problem since he was born. It hasn't been the most fun of all my adventures but we've survived! We've been through 4 different doctors because of insurance and none of them felt like they knew enough about his situation (I'm guessing, why else would they make me--I mean him--suffer!?) to send us to a specialist for the tubes. Most people don't like putting tubes in their baby's ears; I begged.

So at his 18 month check up we didn't see the doctor, we only saw the nurse. She's my new favorite person in the world right now (sorry Fuzz). We asked her if we could get a referral and she asked, "Has he had a lot of problems in the past?" UMM YES! She didn't question us any further. She put in the request that same day and two days later we had an appointment for a consultation. The doctor looked in little J's ears and said, "Yep, he needs tubes. In fact, he'll probably get 1 or 2 infections between now and then. Sorry Mom." Waaaahhhh!

I'm pretty sure he already has an infection now (or I could just be paranoid). He was up ALL NIGHT last night. I'm not even exaggerating. I slept on the couch with him and he woke up crying every 15 minutes. We bounced, rocked, sang, hummed... I don't know how many times I said, "Joooordan, it's okay, Mommy's here..." And then, at 6 AM he decided it was time to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I tried snoozing through it but he kept getting really excited and making noises. "Mooooo!" "Doggie! Doggie!" Chooo Chooo!" And then he would poke me in the eye to try and wake me up.

So here I am, feeling like a zombie and guzzling down coffee like there's no tomorrow. Jordan is at daycare (for now...) and it's only Wednesday. But the end of his little ear problems is finally in sight: September 25th. Only 19 more days and hopefully he won't have to suffer anymore.